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5 Reasons I Hate Playing Escape Rooms

Hulk Smash in Escape Room
What we all wish we could do in an escape room

It seems like everyone loves playing escape rooms. Well, not me. It’s like smoking cigarettes. I wish I could quit, but I just can’t. Playing them tends to cure my boredom, but that’s about it. I’ve done over 100 and counting. My friends play every week so sometimes I have no choice if I want to hang out with them. Here’s why I hate playing escape rooms.

You’re not allowed to break anything. How is that realistic? If they’re really trying to be “immersive,” they would allow me to break things. Like, the door for example. How come I can’t kick the door down? Fastest escape ever.

You can’t climb. I mean what the hell. If I was truly locked in a room, climbing is the first thing I would do in an attempt to escape. There goes my fantasy of pretending to be Spider Man.

You can’t fight your game master. So if someone (other than a cop) was trying to handcuff me to a chair, the first thing I would do is kick him in the face and run away. Me (+1), Game Master (0).

Waste of money. So, I’m going to voluntarily pay money to get locked up so I can escape? And my prize is what? That I escaped the venue? Didn’t I start the day outside of the venue? So, if I never go inside then I’m already a winner, right? People are weird. Escape rooms are like paying money to become a prisoner inside a jail. Who wants to do that? (apparently, a lot of people)

It only lasts 1 hour. I paid $50 for Call of Duty on Playstation, and I played that sucker for hundreds, no, thousands of hours! Talk about value. These escape room things get expensive when you get addicted to them. If I wanted to play one every day, that would be almost $1,000 per month, or more. Pretty expensive habit if you ask me.

--Escape Room Enthusiast

p.s. If you disagree with this ^ guy and think he’s crazy, feel free to book an escape room.

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